Child Centered Parenting versus Parent Centered Parenting

Proud Mommy Moment Naomi Mc Laughlan 14 June 2017

To be or not to be….or the chicken and the egg question comes to mind, doesn’t it?

Since my son Jason has turned 20 yesterday, I have reflected upon the past 20 years of parenthood and the experiences I have accumulated over the years…

His first smile, first word, first step, first birthday, first day at kindergarten, first day at school etc. So many pressures memories, almost unbelievable how fast the time has passed!

I also noticed how many other parents I have encountered; during pre-birth classes, at nursery, kindergarten, school and hobby groups, as well as my son’s friendship cycle. Many different approaches to parenting, many little lives influenced on how their parents conducted the ‘parenting game of life’.

I have learned that some focus their approach around the child, value the little person as a unique individual who cannot conform to ‘norms’, but rather allow them to flourish and explore the world, while the parent (s) organise their lives based on their child’s needs and wants.

Meanwhile, I have also met many parents who ‘add their child on’ to their life, life style and general way of approaching their day-to-day. By for example, continuing their life’s pretty much as prior to having had the child; they continue their work schedule and leisure time and manage their child’s day by delegating childcare either between each other and also towards family members or childcare providers, friends and other children entertaining activities. They continue to meet up with friends and when they go out as a family they base their choice on what they (the parent(s)) would like to do, not their child. Interestingly, those parents often wonder why their child ‘misbehaves’ e.g. can’t sit still in an adult centred restaurant and even doesn’t like the food served or during a show that they are not interested in.

In my opinion, there is no ‘right or wrong’ type of parenting, as each child is so different, even within the same family. My three children are entirely different and truly need and want very different approaches, not just based on their age, but also based on their individual interests and personal preferences.

However, I do think that parents need to pause and reflect on a regular basis, to spot issues asap, to avoid taking a route that is damaging for the child or even for themselves.

I have met mums who constantly hover over their kids, completely lose their sense of self and practically live solely to please their children. Or mums and dads who feel burdened when they ‘should or have to’ spend extended times with their kids, buy as many toys as they can and yet still find little to no connection, while those children have no interest in their countless toys and are constantly bored. Both are unhealthy in my opinion, as both will lead to heart ache in the long run, for all involved.

In my parenting, I have always tried to balance between the two and learned that this approach is best, not just for my eldest, but also for my younger two girls. For example, when we want to eat somewhere together, we choose a buffet (most often Chinese) or simply McD’s (although their veggie menu is limited), as the first offers the option to choose food everyone likes and the second that the children (almost) cannot ‘misbehave’ (be a child, move around and not noise restricted), as it clearly is a child centred food outlet (balloons, crayons and paper and toys included). Another example is that while I drive and drop my kids to their hobby sessions (ballet, judo etc.), I either take a book with me and read while they enjoy their sessions, chat with another mum while drinking a nice cup of coffee or listen to an audiobook. I use these pockets of time to also enjoy the time, so that I don’t feel that I am ‘just the Taxi’.

I do have to admit though, that if I had to honestly evaluate which side I am on, I would consider my parenting approach to be child centered, and I guess that has come from learning experiences of the past 20 years; If you try to enjoy an adult type activity, don’t force a child to enjoy it and vice versa. Although, I do actually enjoy many child centered activities, e.g Disney and Co.

I had my son very early in my life, so I guess that is another reason why I enjoy the child centered approach, as I was so young I had not yet established a ‘me first’ e.g. ‘selfish way of life style’ that may have led me to feel ‘disturbed’ by my child’s needs and wants. Instead, as I wanted to traveled the world, for example, I chose places and hotels etc. which would entertain both of us. In addition, as I had my second child 5 years later and then my third another 6 years later, the child centered approach made even more sense, the bigger the family became. Which led to many decisions, including to homeschool, to start my business six years ago, working from home serving customers around the world and writing business and children books.

I would love to read your thoughts on this! Have you found a parenting approach that works well? If so, please share it in the comment section below. Thanks 😉

All the Best,

Naomi xxx

P.S.: Enjoy every second of being a parent!

Want to join My MLM / Network Marketing Business??? Yikes (Warning Rant included!)

Your Opportunity Naomi Mc Laughlan

I was inspired to consider this topic by an invitation I received to join a Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) aka Network Marketing firm, by a new friend. (My long-term friends already KNOW not to ask…)
My initial reaction, after watching a video presentation, was NOOOOOO thank you!!! Been there, done that! Not for me!!! LESSON LEARNED…sharing it here just for you!

Yes, I speak of FIRST HAND experience, as I have been part of several MLM company’s myself, incl. Tupperware, Amway, Jamie at Home, Avon and the likes….

Every time I thought ‘ooooh maybe it is the product’, NOOOOOPE IT IS THE BUSINESS MODEL!!!

I KNOW that 99% of MLM sign-ups do not make even enough money to claim that they ‘pay themselves’ / earn a minimum wage from profits and bonuses received.

The upside of MLM’s:
• You can claim that that the product has helped X number of people, based on the entire business / brand NOT JUST YOU, who might have signed up an hour ago.

• You can put your name in one sentence with celebrities / famous peeps who have endorsed the business / brand / product.

• You can claim that the products you sell are sold in X number of countries, even though YOU MIGHT SELL TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ONLY.

• You get a discount on all the products you may want to buy (Hint: This is one of the biggest income stream these companies actually make money with!!! New sign-ups who spend their hard-earned cash, which they earned elsewhere)

• Potentially you can earn from any $/£ of your own downline, given that you consistently motivate people to sign up and DO THE WORK…

• You get (most often) free training and access to nice events at (most often) awesome venues – This to be honest is the ONLY reason why I would join if I were you!

The downside of MLM’s:
• You have no business, unless you constantly sell; first to your inner network e.g. family and friends, then to work colleagues, neighbours etc. and lastly to anyone who you come across.

• You are depended on building your own network of ‘Busy Bees’ aka new sign-ups, otherwise you run out of names on your contact list.

• You must ASK ANYBODY, to ‘Join the Club’ and Buy, with the motto “After X number of NO’s THERE MUST BE a yes…”
• You cannot ‘Brand’ YOUR BUSINESS, as anyone in your network sells the same products.

• You cannot make a living! Yes, I said it!!! How many hours have you worked in the last three months, or since you have started and how much money did you make? And please don’t tell me that you are still growing…show me YOUR numbers, not how much you CAN POTENTIALLY make or how much the ‘company’ makes each year etc.

On the other site, IF YOU START YOUR OWN BUSINESS, either solely online based or a location aka ‘brick and mortar’ business, YOU CAN BRAND YOU AND THE WAY YOU DO BUSINESS, for example price, location, service quality, product range, BECAUSE from having started, operated and sold two out of three businesses in the past 16+ years, in both the B2B and B2C sector across several industries, I know that this is the key to differentiation and ultimately it works…And YES, you can work around your kids schedule doing so.

I would love to hear your take on this!
Naomi xxx

P.S.: Need help starting, building or growing your business? Great! Head over to my website to book your 1st Strategy Session with me! https://www.naomimclaughlan.com/more/business-coaching/

P.P.S: If you feel offended because you have started your MLM business, sorry to hear that! You might be the 1% who can pull it off. And if so, I am happy to write about your outstanding business! Yes, I really mean that, for the bottom of my heart

 

ONE Strategy in Business won’t cut it!

Biz Strategy Naomi Mc Laughlan

You need to anticipate changes in your micro- and macro environment and adjust accordingly.

Markets change, buyer behaviour changes, your personal circumstances, your workforce, political, economic, social, technology, legal, and environmental changes…and sooooo much more.

Therefore, I think that what many ‘online gurus’ sell these days is false and a crab lot of BS. Often they sell ‘the program, magic pill or how to strategy’, because they never had a real business, so no ‘real-life application’ and / or they never went to a business school / University, so no qualification, but rather bought into the coaching hype of the 2000s; Quick cash selling Dreams.

And adding to all that, most of them have not even invested in getting a professional coaching qualification…

It is up to YOU, to find the ‘right’ coach, consultant or mentor, but let me warn you all those three words alone are not protected by any means or standard, so in short anybody that FEELS they HAVE IT, can start a coaching / consulting business, without knowing ANYTHING, selling you shit!

Investigate before you invest! Don’t part with your money on impulse… just saying!

Create the Life & Business You Desire & Deserve!

Naomi xxx

P.S.: I am happy to work with you, so head over to my website to book one of my coaching or consultation sessions! Looking forward to meeting you and hearing about your dream venture!

P.P.S: Yes, I am qualified, not only academically to coach, consult and mentor in business and / or multimedia marketing, but also from a practitioners standpoint, as I have also built and grown three successful and profitable businesses in the past 16 years, both in the B2B and B2C sector and in multiple industries.  Yay! 😉

P.P.P.S: Sorry for the rant, but it need to be said!!!

30+ International Websites for Parents of Children affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) (updated)

Naomi Mc Laughlan

When my youngest daughter was diagnosed at age 3, I found it difficult to find resources that I could use to understand the diagnosis better and to find guidance on how to approach the new life change overall. Although I was initially given some booklets about Autism, I still had many question unanswered. I was looking to find websites and articles about:

  • Diagnosis Information
  • Day-to-Day Life
  • Dietary Advice
  • Parents Chats & Communities
  • National and International Societies
  • Education & Work
  • Strategies
  • Therapies
  • Games & Play work
  • How to access Grants
  • Charities & NGOs
  • Family Support Hotlines
  • Links to further help

Autism Awareness NaomiMcLaughlan

Then after hours and hours of research I felt that it was a pity that there wasn’t a list or directory at the time that I could access instead. As each child is so unique in its own right and methods and strategies which are available today vary so much, I…

View original post 563 more words

Customer SERVICE Lessons to be learned from the #UnitedAirlinesAssault

#UnitedAirlinesAssault

Without exaggerating it brought tears to my eyes when I initially saw the video of the elderly men being dragged through the airplane, while bleeding from his mouth and screaming. The violence in the scene is extremely saddening!

How can a PAYING CUSTOMER be treated in this manner? What was his offence? Having bought a ticket from United Airlines, all he wanted to do was to take the flight he booked and payed for, right?!

Also, after reading up on the story and finding out that he is a doctor who explained that he needs to see patients the next day, therefore cannot be late for work and refused to VOLUNTEER to leave the OVERBOOKED plane, I was even more shocked about the entire incident.


So what Customer Service lessons can be learned from the #UnitedAirlinesAssault ?

  1. OVERBOOKING a plane is BAD FOR BUSINESS, as it will (always) leave somebody behind – a paying customer who will think twice of choosing the company again!
  2. ASKING FOR VOLUNTEERS to leave the plane is ALSO BAD FOR BUSINESS, as customers expect the service to be completed not to be asked to stay back!
  3. VIOLENTLY FORCING A PAYING CUSTOMER OF A PLANE, to allow personnel to take the freed-up seats is REALLY, REALLY BAD FOR BUSINESS, as the world is watching and reacting to it (e.g. #Shitstorm #UnitedAirlinesMottos)!!!
  4. LACK OF EMPATHY FOR A VIOLENT INCIDENT, is BAD FOR BUSINESS TOO! Even if a laaaaaaaate apology follows the initial ‘not our fault’ statement!

Dear United Airlines,

Would it have been possible to book seats for personnel initially, to avoid this situation in the first place?

Would it have been possible to book a ticket for the VOLUNTEERS or personnel on another airline, so that the passengers / personnel would arrive at their destination still on time?

Would it have been possible to NOT VIOLENTLY FORCE A PAYING CUSTOMER of the plane?


4 Customer Service quotes that may INSPIRE YOU #UnitedAirlines

“The key is to set realistic customer expectations, and then not to just meet them, but to exceed them — preferably in unexpected and helpful ways.” – Richard Branson

“We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.” – Jeff Bezos

“Make the customer the hero of your story.” – Ann Handley

“Customers don’t expect you to be perfect. They DO expect you to fix things when they go wrong.” – Donald Porter

 

What did You think of the incident? Leave me your comments below.

All the Best,

Naomi xxx

P.S.: Treat ALL your Customers & Clients with RESPECT!

 

Ultimate Success Smackdown!

Ultimate Success Naomi Mc Laughlan

Goal setting is the true secret to success in any area of life. But although setting a goal may seem simple, achieving it is usually another question altogether.

Why is that?

Because you will never achieve your goals unless you: (1) know exactly what you want, (2) are passionate about your goal, and (3) have a solid, realistic plan of action. This is what marks the difference between nebulous dreams and wishes – and truly achievable goals!

Many obstacles and challenges will fly right in your face when you’re going after a goal.

Here are 5 Time-tested Methods that will Help get the Success You Deserve;

1. Know exactly what your goal is

Your first job is to discover exactly what your goal is. What will achieving that goal really look like? Be as specific as possible about exactly what your desired end result is. Your success will be a measure of your clarity – since an achievable goal plan cannot be created around a nebulous “dream.”

If your goal is to create a more successful business, what will that look like? Are you thinking in terms of simply hiring someone else to give you more free time? Are you looking for a very specific monthly profit? Or can your goal be best expressed in terms of a certain lifestyle?

Regardless of what you want, the best way to get it is to first clarify exactly what you want in as much detail as possible. This can be hard work. But without a clear mental picture, you’ll never have the focus required to achieve your goal.

2. Be willing to pay the opportunity cost aka “entry fee”


Success takes dedicated planning and effort. In a way it’s like building a house. In the beginning all you have is a rough concept. Then you develop a complete set of plans – and you immediately move closer to success. The same is true of creating a better lifestyle, or a more successful business.

But there’s always an *entry fee* to be paid for success.

The entry fee?

Creating more success in your business may mean less recreational time. Writing your own book may require less TV. Being closer to your children may require adjusting your work or social activities.

It’s the “full glass” deal. If your life (your time) is already full to the top, there’s no room for something new. The entry fee is carving out the time to create that something new.

3. Focus on your goal every day

I’m sure you probably want to achieve your goal as fast as possible. That’s why clear mental focus is so very important.

Consistent daily focus is absolutely necessary to “burn in” the new neural pathways you need to create your new goal. Without daily focus, the old mental habits that have kept you from your goal will continue to take over.

This happens automatically – since these old habits replay 24/7 deep in your subconscious mind. The only way to override subconscious anti-success messages is to consciously focus on what you DO want – and build new neural networks!

That’s why success is an every-day event.

Re-commit to your goal every day. Don’t let your goal take a back seat to the daily tasks and distractions that will try to take over. Life WILL try to get in your way. Just get, and stay, on course every day. Focus on your goal, and on success!

4. Get passionate

One of the most powerful tools in your “success tool box” is having real passion for your goal.

Why passion?

Because intense passionate desire for your goal will help you burn in those new neural pathways even faster. Many, many scientific studies have shown that intense emotion (passion) is a key success tool.

PLUS (and this is really a *big* plus), intense passion will also help you rapidly override any inappropriate old “failure messages” stored in your subconscious mind.

5. Take consistent action

In many ways, actually taking action can be the most difficult step. Successful goal achievement is built by taking one small action after another.

Let me know what you think!

All the Best,

Naomi

P.S.: Book Your 1st Business or Multimedia Marketing Strategy session today!

Happy International Women’s Day – #BeBoldForChange

Happy International Womens Day Naomi Mc Laughlan

Hey Beauty,

Are you the celebrating International Women’s Day?

Are you Bold for Change?

I hope you are, not just because that’s is this year’s motto…

Many women, myself included, often feel under enormous pressure, including having to be pretty and smart, a good daughter and sister, a great mum and an amazing wife, all at the same time…and yet, I guess what we all need to hear is that WE ARE #ENOUGH!

In light of today’s special day, as well as part of my #GlobalGoal campaign, I have created a 4-part series on “Support Global Goals Equal Rights of Education” for girls and women. Enjoy 😉

Therefore, it is up to all of use to help forge a better working world, one that is more inclusive, a gender equal world!

All the Best,

Naomi xxx

P.S.: Have you #Read or #Listened to my latest International Amazon Bestseller yet? Learn How to apply Global Goals to Your Business today!

HOw to Apply Global Goals to Your Business Image collage Naomi Mc Laughlan